i want some oatmeal or something

healthy dessert

Wait a minute…

This lady seems to have some inconsistencies in her definition of the word “healthy.” Re: “However, even with the white and brown sugars, I use whole grain flours and everything is organic so these will be waaaaaaay better for you than bakery cookies or packaged (really now?) ones.” [(a more healthful) chocolate chip cookie recipe]

1. “White and brown sugars”? When trying to make healthy (or healthier) desserts, I look for recipes that call for as little sugar as possible, if any. Certainly less than 1¾ cups.

2. “Whole grain” is not a magic phrase that automatically makes your recipe healthy. In some instances, due to the processed nature of almost any food you buy at a grocery store, no-grain flour (e.g., almond or coconut) is actually healthier, and I’m not just talking about for people with celiac disease.

3. “Organic.” Fuck you. “The published literature lacks strong evidence that organic foods are significantly more nutritious than conventional foods. Consumption of organic foods may reduce exposure to pesticide residues and antibiotic-resistant bacteria.” [Are Organic Foods Safer or Healthier Than Conventional Alternatives?: A Systematic Review]

4. “(really now?)” Careful. Your elitism is showing.

You know what really bugs me about this situation is that, while some of her recipes are total bombs (e.g., cauliflower and roasted garlic soup [“sophisticated enough to serve at a dinner party, but simple enough to make on a weeknight” my ass]), some of them are actually really good (e.g., harvest chopped salad). I just don’t think I want to get to know her as a person.


semicolon name changer

I was channel surfing or something the other day; I wasn’t even really, I just passed by channel 502, or the television was on that channel when I turned it on or something, and Elementary was on, and the only word I heard before I changed the channel was “Watson,” but it was Jonny Lee Miller talking to Lucy Liu and it freaked me the fuck out and now I know I’ll never ever be able to watch Elementary.

I don’t think I’d like that it’s set in New York, for one thing, or that Sherlock is a recovering addict, for another, but I wasn’t expecting to have such an intense and reflexive negative reaction to Watson being a woman. Fortunately for CBS, that appears to be working out well for most people, but I simply cannot handle it. It was like cosplay, I couldn’t take it seriously. Obviously it’s trying to latch on to the whole female empowerment craze that seems to be present in places, and all I can think is “No, Watson is a man. No. Stop it. Stop being wrong.”

musou dairinin

Every time someone says Paranoia Agent is boring or a bad anime or something like that, I think they must be stupid.

I don’t mean in the sense that they’re wrong for having a different opinion from my own (i.e., that the show is wonderful). I mean that they didn’t understand it because it’s too cerebral and nuanced for them. I.e., they didn’t get it because they aren’t smart enough.

I.e., they’re stupid.

I have very high standards for intelligence, apparently.

I just read this review (well, I didn’t read all of it, because it was really long and I didn’t care that much, and the guy didn’t seem to care for the show particularly) wherein this dude is pointing out what he perceives to be the pros and cons of the series; being that I didn’t actually read it too closely, all I can say for sure is that he didn’t like it because it’s not character-driven enough for him. That is, it’s too episodic without central characters to follow and connect to emotionally.

He’s full of shit, I think. Tsukiko, Ikari, and Maniwa are in almost every episode, and they definitely experience development and growth. And personally I found it very easy to connect to the other characters, even though they only appeared briefly (in comparison). “Happy Family Planning,” for instance; those characters are only in that one episode, but I really got a feel for all of them. It’s called “good storytelling.” For goodness sake, the series is only 13 episodes long, it’s not like there’s tons of time for this kind of thing.

Every once in a while, there is something that I get very protective and defensive about, even though it is a matter of preference and I understand that not everyone shares my opinion. Paranoia Agent is one of those things.

You’d better like it, or you’re stupid.

TBBT character tics

Having seen every episode of The Big Bang Theory, I’ve noticed that the actors have developed certain tics for their characters since the beginning of the show. Most of them are really, really grating.

Penny: smug superiority complex (it’s evident in her tone; even though she’s extremely stupid compared to the guys, she thinks she’s better than they are because she knows pop culture and is better at interacting with others, so she’s replaced her “I don’t understand” blank smile with an “I’m still better than you” arrogance); overuse of things the guys have “taught” her (which I doubt she actually understands) to try to impress other guys who she’s trying to sleep with (because that’s all anyone wants in this show, ever [except Sheldon]) (oops, that’s a character flaw); and this one isn’t so much a character tic as an actor…lack of skill, but Kaley Cuoco is terrible at monologuing (especially in “The Big Bran Hypothesis” [re: “You know, where I come from, someone comes into your house at night, you shoot, okay? And you don’t shoot to wound. I mean, alright, my sister shot her husband, but it was an accident, they were drunk. What was I saying?”] and “The Bat Jar Conjecture” [re: “I’m Penny, and I’ll be your host, because apparently I didn’t have anything else to do on a Saturday afternoon, and isn’t that just a little sad.”])

Leonard: tips his head up when he’s making a point (to be fair, he’s always done this, but I’ve never liked it; it’s like arrogance, but he generally does it when he’s uncertain about what he’s saying); he also has started doing the same breathy laughing words thing Howard does (albeit much less frequently), although I think in this case it’s supposed to be indicative of increased comfort in social situations, as opposed to…whatever Howard’s reason is

Sheldon: Jim Parsons seems to be getting bored with the show in general, or possibly with the direction his character is heading; I don’t know if this is intentional, but it sure makes Sheldon less interesting to watch

Howard: rarely (if ever) makes it through an entire sentence without starting a word or two with a breathy kind of laughing thing (it’s like he constantly has asthma and it makes me want to pound him on the back)

Raj: he frequently adopts a very “cute” expression when he can’t talk to women, and I know that if I were to be faced with such a thing, I would find it very awkward and immediately be done with him (not just because he couldn’t talk to me sans alcohol) (well, not any more, I guess; btw that’s a really terrible character development)

Bernadette: I…can’t think of any for her; she’s been pretty much the same since she and Howard started dating

Amy: everything ever

one of thirty-seven

I imagine it’s much easier and less physically and mentally taxing to pretend to care about other people’s accomplishments and problems than to actually experience emotional investment.

Faking that sort of enthusiasm and empathy comes naturally to me. I think people really believe that I feel something for them.

Just to be clear, I generally don’t.

The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

I’m making chocolate coconut oatmeal.

On to the thing!

God I hate that laugh track. Apparently, it’s actually a studio audience, in which case it’s even worse.

Gates of Elzebub: not a real WoW place. Sword of Azeroth: not a real WoW thing. I guess they could get in some licensing trouble over using real terms or something, but…still…there have to be ways around it to lend the show a little bit of authenticity. I mean, they profess to go so out of their way to make sure all the math and science lines up properly. Although apparently a lot of their information is wrong? Not on the whiteboards, but the dialogue, which I believe. It just sounds to me like a lot of science-y words being strung together to sound…science-y. And I think I might be able to recognize some theories and concepts and such, if they made sense.

Why is it supposedly so funny watching these guys play WoW? Maybe Sheldon going nuts over stealing the sword for himself is funny in a kind of schadenfreude kind of way, and I guess Howard’s rejoinder is a little funny the first time you hear it if you can’t see it coming (which I did), but just watching a bunch of nerds sit around playing a video game… I’ve done that, the enjoyment factor is limited.

That making out that Penny and Doug are doing doesn’t look very heated or spontaneous, so I wonder why they couldn’t wait until they got into her apartment.

Why hasn’t Howard gotten into more woman trouble in his life? He’s disgusting.

I’m a little confused by Sheldon’s use of terms like “geek mountain.” That sounds kind of sarcastic, or at least hyperbolic. It’s explained several times that he doesn’t understand the concept of sarcasm, which means he doesn’t understand it at all (not just when it’s used by others), so what’s with that? As he’s probably the funniest part of the entire show, I wonder why they don’t give him more consistency.

Sheldon. Women shave their legs for other reasons than “sexual availability.” Stop it.

Hey Leonard, I’m pretty sure that laser blast was more than two seconds long. Also, why does this show focus so much on Sandra Bullock? I have never liked her or her movies. And Hugh Grant is never funny, or whatever he’s trying to do.

I’m kind of frustrated that Leslie Winkle was written out of the show because Chuck Lorre doesn’t know how strong, independent females can be a thing.

So do Howard and Raj just hang out with Sheldon because they like to fuck with him? That’s really mean. They’re kind of assholes.

“The Earth didn’t move”? God, that was dumb.

So when Leonard is moping, he fixates on cats. When Sheldon feels his life has lost all meaning, he purchases a lot of cats. I’m sensing a theme here.

Newton is a terrible name for a cat.

Go Sheldon logic! And this one even makes sense. Leonard did not ask Penny out, ergo she did not reject him. I even support his subsequent point being something other than “Leonard should go ask Penny out,” because she’s dumb as a post and frankly not that attractive.

I need to take a second to point out the flaw in your argument. “Talk about things we have in common”: You have nothing in common. Nothing. Not a thing. Except that you both like Penny a whole lot. That’s a shitty foundation for a relationship.

Why would she come over and take care of Leonard if she found out he was sick? She’s supposed to have a life or something, and they haven’t know each other that long. I would imagine she’d want to stay away from the sick guy across the hall.

You think Penny knows what “internal logical consistency” means? Because I kind of doubt that she knows what it means.

“I’ll get her back,” Leonard, for goodness’ sake, she’s a person. I think you’re dooming yourself to mediocre service at this dinner here.

So how many weekends has Penny spent having sex and otherwise messing around for 36 hours? That’s so tacky. And there, he starts explaining a concept of physics and you can just see her zoning out. She has pretty much no interest in learning. They’re opposites.

Why is Leonard so fixated on having a relationship with Penny? Proximity? The fact that she’s not a scientist? It makes no sense at all. Oh, wait, I got it: the foundation for a television show. There it is.