oh my goodness goodness gosh

The Request by MetTheRealWorld

Cassie Blake was your average 16 year old sophomore in high school. [Well obviously she’s in high school, she’s 16.] She was known by most of her friends as CJ, just because there was always someone else in her class named Cassie. [From where is this “J” originating? I.e., what the fuck if you wanted to name her CJ then just name her CJ.] It would just make her teacher’s lives easier, though they could just use her last name. [Is this relevant to the story? No? No, so stop talking.] It just works better for them if she went by CJ. [Yeah, I got it, thanks, shut up.] She wasn’t your typical high school student [Hold it! Your Honor, there’s a contradiction in the witness’s testimony!] who did the bear [bare] minimum in any class. CJ was always taking the hardest class possible, and doing well in it. [MARY SUE ALERT.] Rumored had it she could easily graduate a year early, and as the valedictorian. [Captain, she can’t hold much more of this bullshit!] But she chose to graduate with her class. [How very…humble?]

She was also a talented musician, took as many music classes as it would fit into her schedule. [This is atrocious.] Cassie could play any instrument you gave her, literally. [Wha─ I thought she was a typical high school student!] It would sound like she’s been playing for years. [I bet the author either is a (resentful) musician or wishes she was (a talented) one.] She played bass clarinet for marching band, concert band, wind ensemble (highest band class her high school offered. [How precious.]) as well as baritone saxophone for jazz band. [So in actuality she plays only two instruments.]

Cassie started her day like all other students who had a 7 am class, went to every one of her classes, talked to her friends, and after another 9 hour school day went home around 4:30 from marching band practice. [Not. Average.] Today seemed different from other days, well besides the fact that she had extra chores to do like picking up/dusting/vaccuming the dining room and kitchen for some sort of funeral party [Funeral party?] cuz [And there goes your credibility, right out the window. Bye, credibility! Bye!] her mom was allowing a friend of hers to use their house. [For a funeral party.]

She knew today felt different, but couldn’t explain what [how?] or why. Cassie finished moving some stuff in the dining room that needed to be placed in the living room when she noticed a strange figure in a bathrobe [Not a bathrobe, you racist little shit.] and a turban on his head standing in the hallway.

“Who are you?” She asked. [How about “What are you doing here?” or “Get out of my house”?]

The strange man walked into the bathroom and she ran towards him to get some answers. [As opposed to ran away from him or to the phone to call the cops like a normal human person.] There was something familiar, something oddly familiar [Not just familiar!] about this guy that Cassie couldnt place.

“Who are you?” She asked again. [Surely he will answer if I ask him a second time!]

The guy looked at her once again, those blue eyes of his [“His blue eyes.” Don’t try gettin’ fancy here, kid.] reminded Cassie… of… a … guy… named *the narrator looks away and takes a long pause.* [What the everloving fuck.] Shadi.

The strange man walked into the bathtub. [Quick! My kingdom for an ice pack!] Cassie couldnt take the silent treatment anymore from this guy and started running towards the guy, but only made it two feet [Wait a second… Running two feet? That’s maybe a step and a half. At best that’s a powerful push off the ground with your back foot, not really “running.”] before mysteriously passing out. [Well at least we’re done with her, so that’s something. Oh, no, wait… There’s a Chapter 2. Well shit.]

I couldn’t force myself to slog through much of it, but Chapter 2 (wherein the author plainly and without any sort of evidence to support her views displays her hatred of Tea Gardner [because Yami/Yugi is/are (ew) going to end up madly in love with her OC, goddammit!]) not only reveals Cassie to be a wonderful singer and quite the little Egyptian scholar, but also a good enough duelist to beat Yami and Yugi. But…Yami was going easy on her? JFC, girl, have you ever even seen the show? Yami doesn’t go easy! That’s like 113% of his character!

Also, random and unnecessary switch to first person narrative.

Yep.

Cardcaptor Sakura time!

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hover boots

I think I’m losing my interest in the “serial killer’s perspective” genre.

Well, not entirely, perhaps, but a good amount.

I was hunting around for reviews of Hannibal, to see if it would be worth my while maybe to give it a go (but definitely not dive into the fandom, which seems as crazy and obnoxious as the Dr. Who fandom, and the GoT fandom, and the Supernatural fandom [as it stands at present], and the Star Trek fandom), and the reviews are mostly positive as far as I can tell, but they also allow that the show contains a lot of gore (not my thing) and there’s the whole cannibalism aspect that’s pretty hard to get away from.

So I’m like okay, fine, I could handle that shit, but then I’m like but wait a second, do I really want to? The whole “empathetic protagonist serial killer” element is pretty tired already, even though television is just starting to go there. Well, tired from my perspective, anyway.

I think it’s supposed to be very disturbing and fantastical, and maybe make people feel better about themselves, to find these characters to be even somewhat relatable, or appealing. But I’m just like “Murder? Sociopath? Psychosis? Blood? Okay whatever.” It’s too blase. Like I’m supposed to be shocked and repulsed by these acts of horror but I’m so, so not, and when you take that away, what is really left but another Law and Order.

It’s the same with Dexter, actually. I mean there, Deb was part of the reason I almost didn’t make it through to the end, as well as…every other character (I didn’t like a single one, except for Lundy, until he hooked up with Deb), but I stuck around for the excruciatingly careful murders, and even there I think some of it was just a mad dash to the finish line. Even now I don’t want him to get caught, although I know he will.

Interesting, though, that the Yin/Yang arc in Psych is definitely one of my favorites. Short (only three episodes! Spread out over three seasons, no less), deranged (oh my god are those two over the edge of the sanity cliff), conclusive (both caught with a delightful little Shawn/Juliet overlay at the very end), and containing two lovely extremes of the “psychotic serial killer” MO (Yang, the off-the-deep-end 100% nut bar, and Yin, the puppet master sociopath delighting in others’ suffering) without an overdose of either to bore me away.

Also Anthony Hopkins is the only Hannibal Lecter and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

chocolate fudge zucchini brownies

I tried to like Apollo Justice. I really did. I wanted to like it. I wanted the Apollo/Klavier ship to be as prevalent and obvious as the Phoenix/Miles ship in the other games. I really, really did.

Apollo is such a jackass, though. And the only Apollo/Klavier feels I got were…none, I don’t think. Maybe one, near the end of the last case. Maybe. Probably not. Mostly it just felt like people were imposing the Wrightworth onto another defense/prosecution dynamic and pretending it made as much sense, which it does not. Not at all. Not even a little. Hell, I snapped to Vera/Apollo more quickly than I did to Apollo/Klavier, and that’s a relationship that’s really going nowhere fast.

In short, I’m super, super glad Phoenix is regaining protagonist status for the next game, and I don’t know if I will ever stop being excited for Edgeworth’s new character design. And promotion to Chief Prosecutor.

Oh Edgeworth.

You’re fabulous.

svelt

Ohhhh my gosh I was so nervous my R4i was outdated beyond repair… I fixed it, though! I fixed it all by myself!

I’m very proud.

I really am, though. Usually I would scour the Internet for a solution with explicit instructions (and to be fair, I did try to do that, although the results were not fruitful) or desperately ask Erin to fix the problem for me (it crossed my mind, briefly, once), but then the answer came to me and it seemed so obvious, I can’t believe it wasn’t my first instinct.

Go me!

And I have a new layout for my Tumblr page which, although it gets rid of my electric butterfly, I do like a lot more than my previous one.

Yay!

time for bed

Holy fucking crap, there are still people in the universe of fandom who write stories and tag them “lemons.”

And there are people left reading Japanese-based fanfic who don’t know what “愛してる” means. (There are people left writing Japanese-based fanfic who are using the term “愛してる.”)

Wow.

Wow.