there’s that parrot you like to argue with

You know something that’s kind of terrible? I think we can all agree that no one’s trying to convince children anymore than they can do anything they put their minds to, that growing up definitely means job security and a good home and a clear future, if that was ever true, but even worse than that was, or still is, the message that by the time you get to be eighteen or twenty-three you’ll even know what you want your future to be.

I’m working towards a Master’s degree in Social Work because that kind of work comes naturally to me. The act of listening to people complain about their problems, and their lives, and then reframing it positively or helping them come up with solutions, is very easy for me to do. The answers often seem obvious. But the problem with this all is that I don’t especially like people.

It would be one thing if this was a field with a high potential yield, i.e., well-paying. It’s not, though. It’s really not. People are supposed to be social workers because they love it, because they like helping people. But I don’t. I don’t care. I don’t care about other people’s problems.

It hasn’t worked out well for me in the past.

So now I’m just adrift in this ocean of implying that I know what I want to do with my life, that I’m doing it, even, when the reality is that I have no idea and I feel like I’m wasting all my time.


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