zero panzer

I really don’t like Alyson.

I’ve been thinking about it. She’s not just a person I would never want to socialize with outside of the academic setting where I’m into forced contact with her. She’s not just a bad boss. She’s not just a bad supervisor.

She’s all of those things at the same time.

I hate my internship.

I hate the field placement department.

I don’t think my Social Work Practice I professor is qualified.

I don’t really like David Kamnitzer anymore.

My life lacks direction.

That’s not true. It has plenty of direction, I guess. I’m pursuing a degree that I’m supposed to take and use to become a social work professional.

The problem is that I don’t want that.

I don’t like people. I think they’re obnoxious and annoying.

Especially children.

Why doesn’t anyone believe me when I say I know myself?

I know what I like and what I don’t.

I like being alone.

I don’t like children.

I like animals.

I don’t like my fellow students.

Lisa came into Human Behavior class yesterday about ten minutes late and sat right behind me reeking of cigarette smoke.

I feel like I’m not supposed to criticize her behavior at any point ever because she’s a veteran.

I don’t really care that she’s a veteran. I just don’t want people to start getting on my case for being insensitive.

I know I am. You don’t need to tell me. The hard part is making sure other people don’t know it.

More people in the world need to understand the rule of “If your friend shows you something or tells you about something they’re really proud of, you’d better complement the shit out of that thing, even if it sucks, because they’re really proud of it and they’re putting an enormous amount of trust in you by showing it to you or telling you about it.”

I wish the world was more like the good parts of Tumblr.

Hey, universe. Hey people in the world. Stop trying to show me new experiences and hoping that I’ll find that I love something that I won’t.

I don’t have enough emotional capacity for that.

I know I’m depressed.

I don’t want any drugs.

I know what’s causing my depression.

There’s nothing I can do about it right now.

Why is this so hard.


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