place of shadows

anotherwellkeptsecret
August 27th 2015, 1:42 pm · 10 minutes ago

I just want to make the world happy!

Maybe it would help if you weren’t so fucking sanctimonious. (Yup, I figured out why she gets so under my skin and that’s the answer.

(Also I’ve come to realize that I don’t actually love her art style; she’s pretty good, I guess, and I think I’m seduced by the fact that her finished pieces are pretty clean, but when she draws hands holding things [or clutching shoulders or the backs of heads], it has that same effect as 3D art from the 2000s where you don’t get a good sense of grip. And her stuff lacks the graceful sense of flow my favorite artists tend to favor.)

Aaaaand it only took 15 comments for someone (theconsultingredhead) to chime in: You definitely make me happy with your amazing art and positive personality!

Yes, I was wondering when someone would leap to her defense against…herself.

ETA: So I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but apparently it’s something to do with other bloggers blocking her and somehow being offended by things she’s said or done (possibly in relation to defending other bloggers, such as archia), and now she’s taking some Mental Health Time Off to regroup and hopefully realize that it’s not her fucking job to save the world from assholes, and not everybody likes her and there’s nothing she can do about it, and honest to god being blocked is not that big a deal. Seriously, put on your big girl pants and get over yourself.

ETA: “I would like to say, before I issue a formal apology, that I now truly understand where people are coming from who were upset with me, and I’d like to thank those that kindly pointed out the problem, because I tend to avoid drama and the discourse is largely unfamiliar to me as someone who has to stay away from that kind of thing.”

Okay, so this is a big overblown case of “Why are people being mean to me, what do you mean there’s someone who doesn’t like me,” because she usually flees the opposite direction when shit starts going down. Life Lesson #534932: Face your problems and learn to deal with them, and their fallout. A.K.A., watch The Lion King again. Empathize with Simba.

ETA: So apparently Dan has radically changed his personality since he and Jill had their bratty little kid and now he’s super stubborn as opposed to the laid-back, easygoing guy she wanted and thought she was marrying. Hm, who was it again who said right off that she didn’t like him? And everyone was all “Give him a chance, don’t be such a little shit”? And she was all “I’ll be cordial but don’t ask me to enjoy spending time with him because he bugs me”? Oh my god that’s right it was me. And, seriously, they’re doing a piss-poor job of raising that demon spawn. It’s all “Julia, don’t watch those videos, okay?” “No!” *huff sigh ugh* Zero follow through. Zero consequences. She’s gonna be so spoiled and entitled and obnoxious, I can see it now.

Schadenfreude!

WIP

According to Johnlock Fanfiction, this is a list of Sherlock Fandom Classics. I’m trying to keep myself updated in terms of which ones I’ve read and which ones have performed way below par so I can avoid reading them again, and vice versa. Turns out many of them suck.

Angst ✓
Alone on the Water [Mad_Lori] (very good but I read it once and I don’t need to read it again)
Equilibrium [augustbird] (excellent Flowers for Algernon fusion)

Post-Reichenbach ✓
We Go Anywhere But to the Ground [geordielover] (really nice, but emotionally heavy; John attempts suicide [sort of] before Sherlock comes back but it ends well)
The Quiet Man [ivyblossom] (okay, I’m sure the story is a good story, but I’ve had it sitting on this list for ages and I’ve tried to start reading it like eight times and I just can’t get past the first chapter, so I’m chalking it up as a lost cause)
The Fabric of Life [orphan_account] (yes, on the balance, this is a good fic, but it loses steam in the second half, and while I sort of like the OCs, their lack of growth is frustrating [given that they are members of a support group; and it just occurred to me that a new member is introduced near the beginning of the story and then disappears without explanation]; also there’s a lot of plot-heavy and extremely graphic sex, which though initially readable becomes increasingly tedious the more times it happens; also Sherlock occasionally speaks Spanish, which John finds sexy but it’s totally not sexy; oh, and here are some negative stylistic consistencies: far too many sentences begin with “And” in attempts to be…sentimental, I think; that obnoxious comma-before-modifying-adjective thing; excessive use of the nondescript “something”; massive overuse of the qualifiers “half” and “almost”; way too many commas; occasional use of the descriptor “impossible” for things that are not impossible)

Alternate Universe ✓
Performance in a Leading Role [Mad_Lori] (yeah, yeah, we’ve all read Performance in a Leading Role)
Collared [VelvetMace] (normalized slavery and Stockholm Syndrome)
A Study in Winning [Jupiter_Ash] (ugh, no)
Man and Beast [Jupiter_Ash] (werewolf)
The Swan Triad [Pennin_Ink] (consistent grammatical errors and the last part is way too long; it’s…alright, the first two parts are readable, but the characterizations in the third part are all terrible)
Two Two One Bravo Baker [abundantlyqueer] (nearly every paragraph is like a bullet point list of actions [“He licks his lips, drags his lower one between his teeth. His body flexes, his legs extending and then folding up again restlessly. His eyes flick open as he exhales shakily. His hand stills on himself. His breathing turns to uneven, hard-edged quivering.”]; there’s a lot of graphic sex, which is dull beyond words, especially when written as flatly as those bullet lists [not an exclamation mark to be found in the entire document]; the story itself is extremely well-researched but also agonizingly boring, and I cannot emphasize how much I do not care about any of the seven billion OCs)
School for Scandal [rubberbird] (the generic pre-Moriarty section contains that weirdly sex-fixated Sherlock that some school!AU authors seem to favor, and once Moriarty arrives it’s actually not that dark, or very well-explained; I found the whole thing to be quite tedious)
Stranger at the Gate [bendingsignpost] (vampire)
Chameleon [VelvetMace] (a few gratingly consistent obvious grammatical errors but rather an interesting plot…last updated in 2012, so how is this a “classic” if it’s seemingly abandoned?)
The Magic of Deduction [TheShoelessOne] (the Sortings actually don’t have much relevance, just that John’s Hufflepuff friends are super loyal, which really could be said of any friend group, and that the Slytherins are spiteful towards Sherlock after he starts spending most of his time in Hufflepuff’s dorms, which speaks more to the author’s not-very-deep House characterizations than anything; despite a few grammar flaws, outrageous overuse of noun identifiers instead of names, e.g., “the Badger,” “the boy,” “the Slytherin,” etc., overuse of the nondescript “something” when describing physical sensations, e.g., “he has to force Something back down his throat,” and too many sentences being with the word “And” or “But,” it’s rather fun)
Long Ago and Far Away [lotherington] (nice WWII-era collection; not quite sure why it’s divided into parts instead of chapters, but it actually makes the reading a bit easier, and the E-rated pieces [well-written, emotionally invested, but still pretty blatant pornography] can easily be skipped; the only really irritating writing thing is the frequent references to the clock chiming specific quarter-hours [intended to be atmospheric but actually just awkward], and it appears that Moriarty’s time to play the villain comes in the 27th part which seems abandoned [4 August 2013], oh well)
Saving Sherlock Holmes [earlgreytea68] (the chapters aren’t bite-sized by any means, but they’re short enough to be manageable and engaging enough to breeze through, and the story is a fabulous interweaving of the BBC!Sherlock with High School!AU Johnlock [plus bonus Mystrade]; actually the only frustrating thing about the whole work is that the adjectives modifying the “said” verbs have commas before them, e.g., “said Sherlock, fervently,” which never stops being annoying but can be suffered, I suppose)
Night Shift [corpsereviver2] (vampire)

Fluff ✓
Two Coffees One Black One With Sugar Please [Linpatootie] (occasionally minor grammar quirks but great overall, minus John’s “straight with an exception” sexuality and Sherlock’s whole “you stole my virginity”; a cute quartet of single-chapter fics describing the accidental-fall-into-a-relationship)
Corpus Hominis [mycapeisplaid] (delightfully silly fluffy casefic; Sherlock and John go to a health farm)
The Real Meaning of Idioms [feverishsea] (a good read; John texts Sherlock from a boring conference and there’s a gaggle of OCs I’m actually quite taken with)
A Quiet Murmuration [cathedral_carver] (good, but solidly pre-slash; “pay me back with one thousand kisses”)
A Finger Slip [Pawtal] (no comment)
The Velveteen Doctor [Lantean_Drift] (“fluff” is a weird description for this; it’s…fine, I guess, but the world building isn’t great)
and stand there at the edge of my affections [coloredink] (so cute; Sherlock asks John for help writing a love letter)

Adventure/Casefic ✓
26 Pieces [Lanning] (tremendously long single chapter that I stunningly read all in one go; some confusion re: escape from the sewers, but even the somewhat graphic sex scenes [there are two] aren’t too bad to get through; the plot is good [although if I’m meant to recognize the name “Edward Burke,” I don’t], the romance is built extremely well, the end is quite satisfying)
Never the Twain Shall Meet [Quinn Anderson] (pretty amateurish; decidedly mid-level fanfiction writing, aiming for edgy and just coming off weak and dull)

Smut ✓
A Cure for Boredom [emmagrant01] (definitely, definitely not)

Parentlock ✓
Where I Cannot Find You [withoutawish] (it’s…not bad, it’s not great; for all the medical proofing, it could’ve used a better grammatical editor, and the constant switching between first name usage and “the doctor” or “the detective” is incredibly jarring [especially in a hospital setting where there are other doctors]; every detail of the plot is painfully obvious from start to finish, but maybe shock factor isn’t intended to be part of the narrative [or so I hope])
The Blog of Eugenia Watson [Mad_Lori] (it was a fun read the first time because of the novelty but wears through quickly)
Multiply (the sum of our parts) [1electricpirate] (the author has that habit I used to have, and thank god I don’t have it anymore because it is really annoying, of not using contractions very often [e.g., “it is” instead of “it’s,” “will not” instead of “won’t,” etc.], and fairly consistent errors in the “it’s” vs “its” and “who’s” vs “whose” department; for one chapter I think the nanny’s name changes from Annette to Amy and then back without any mention; to the author’s credit, there’s acknowledgement within the story that the premise is absurd, but on the other hand the premise is absurd; I would say the best thing to come out of this story [which is tremendously boring and about 77% just waxing on and on about how precious these disgusting babies are] is that I now readily and completely identify Parentlock that tries to be canon compliant as a bad idea)
Nature and Nurture [earlgreytea68] (thanks but no)

Humor ✓
The Internet is Not Just For Porn [cyerus] (super cute; John is Sherlock’s Internet boyfriend from Canada)
I Just Had Sex [pennydreadful] (oh god, such crack)

Romance ✓
The Road Less Traveled [verityburns] (the author seems to buy some version of the “Sherlock is a sociopath” angle, which makes him so OOC that I feel like I’m reading an android!Sherlock AU [not what I signed up for, buttercup] where John is his also absurdly OOC keeper, and this author really has no clue how to write Sally, or Anderson, or Lestrade, or Mycroft, or Anthea; also despite the [eventual] explicit consent, the first sex scene feels a little rapey, and either the author’s view of relationship dynamics is seriously fucked or they’re just terrible at expressing it; honestly there’s a bonus Christmas Special but I just couldn’t bring myself to read it)
The Heart in the Whole [verityburns] (no, no, 1000 times no)
34 Minutes [bendingsignpost] (so cute)
The Progress of Sherlock Holmes [ivyblossom] (I’m sure they’re a fine author; or, no I’m not, because as I’ve learned well, a lot of notoriety and recommendations don’t necessarily mean skill or tact, but the writing style, while…stylistic, feels stilted and awkward, not to mention first person POV, and it’s just not gonna happen)

Other ✓
The Paradox Series [wordstrings] (so I read the first two parts and the fifth part [out of a possible eight], and I don’t like it at all; the relationship is super fucked, never really getting over the “sociopath” angle [not as bad as verityburns but only because the writing is better], and most of the installments seem to be verbose excuses to write kinky sex scenes [airplay, medical kink, spanking, etc.] with some veneer of philosophical depth, using mental instability as a writing theme rather than actually exploring it with any insight or illumination)
His Favorite Four Letter F-Words [cathedral_carver] (reads like an exceptionally well-executed writing exercise; the only thing is it’s in alphabetical rather than chronological order so the flow isn’t great)
Evidence of Human Life [thesardine] (very…interesting; Sherlock and John are stranded on an island and Sherlock goes a little crazy, so there’s some animalistic behavior and a sort of undertone of master/slave dynamic, although that’s not a precedent and it gets resolved by the end; it’s different, and I have a hard time wholeheartedly recommending it but it’s definitely not bad)

dialga

bought some new bras yesterday! plus underwear and socks, the bill totaled…oh god, $250, but man, these bras are amazing. in that they fit. like, properly. i’m very excited. uh. happy birth…month?

Right, moving on, the latest exhibit in our cavalcade of whimsy: Uphill by scullyseviltwin (I could have sworn she was a good bet). Another one that starts off…maybe “strong” is too, er, strong of a word, but it starts off not too bad, at least. I mean I got all the way to Chapter 12, I think, before I realized what a sloppy piece it is. Moriarty is terrible. I don’t mean he’s a terrible person, which, in the context of the narrative, I believe he’s supposed to be; I mean he is written terribly. I don’t even care that he’s putting John and Sherlock in all this danger (I think; he’s got some kind of underground trades plot going on with illegal ski wax?), or that he’s playing Moran (who’s a hulking brainless bodyguard and I think under the impression that he and Moriarty are a couple) like a cheap pianola, or that he’s Sherlock’s skiing rival (ooh manufactured tension). He comes off like a joke, a really annoying joke, and I couldn’t take him seriously at all. (Thank god Molly isn’t written as a sniveling plot device, though. She’s quite competent, even if she does get drunk and emotional at the party after Sherlock wins.)

Also the runs themselves are super boring. I think the author was trying to capture the adrenaline of the moment(s) and the power of this being Sherlock’s last event before retirement, but I skimmed through those things like a sex scene. In that I did not read them. Because they were so boring and melodramatic.

Also, I know this is a sports story, and it’s not at all surprising that Sherlock wins the gold, but seriously he skis I think two or three days after having been badly beaten and briefly hospitalized, and his foot is fractured or something and his ribs are bruised and he’s not in a good way, and not only is this permitted by the IOC and his team and all that, but he wins Olympic gold? I mean. Gold? Not only that but his first gold? Stretching the bounds of credibility to the point of breaking there, kiddo. And come to think of it, the story up to that point hadn’t really made a huge deal of Sherlock wanting the gold. I mean yeah he wants to beat Moriarty, and he wants to get in a good race and go out on a high note, but a lot of it is just “this is my last Olympics ever, better make it a good one,” without actually making the pomp and circumstance of it feel too important. There’s way more focus on his blossoming relationship with John (which moves as rapidly as every other sports!Sherlock story I’ve ever read) and the two of them figuring out Moriarty’s scheme and then dismantling it.

Also, in the last four chapters or so, suddenly everyone is “peeling” their eyes open. So, you know. Ew.