jojoba oil

ew, ew, ew.

kelley just posted a fic to ao3 that she’s been working on for, i dunno, a few days or something; oh, 9 january, to be precise, so, three days ago, all because of the behind-the-scenes bit from the blu-ray where ben strips down to his wetsuit and then kelley started throwing out a bunch of stupid au ideas about sherlock stripping like that for john (it’s not like good stripping, ben is purposefully being nerdy). she said, you know, “someone has to write this,” and then about ten seconds later, “fuck it i’ll write this.” (i think it was “hell, i’m writing it,” but, details.)

i clicked on it just for a lark, and ew.

it’s an au!alternate first meeting, sherlock is bizarrely infiltrating a strip club as a stripper to catch some random criminal for whatever case he’s on, and john’s there with his old rugby mates (not that he has any, seriously, john is lonely as fuck before he meets sherlock) for some reason and sherlock starts giving him a lap dance, i think? i glossed over…all of it, it was so, so awkward. oh and apparently she somehow had three people helping her out with it, a couple of cheerleaders helping her amp up the sex (because apparently asexual aromantics can’t write sexy sex scenes, uh, i beg to differ) and a proper beta reader (get your money back, sugarplum), which, why.

what kills me, absolutely kills me about this is that just because she’s very well-liked on tumblr, this fic will probably get thousands and thousands of hits. it’s short! it’s not very clear! it’s voyeuristic! it’s complete fanservice! it’s fairly pointless! but it will be popular.

meanwhile, krustophenia sits on the shelf.


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