okay, so i just finished watching spider-man: homecoming (it only took four days to suffer the whole thing), and i gotta say…super glad i didn’t spend any money on it.
it’s really boring. i mean, really boring. gotta love michael keaton, of course, the donald glover appearance is a nice bonus (although i wasn’t paying enough attention to understand the relevance of the character), and it’s always fun to see zendaya in stuff (even though her character was pretty much completely pointless), but god, all told, the movie is so boring. like, the flashy action scenes are fine, they’re kind of neat i guess, but nothing really special, and i get that they’re trying to portray peter as a kid in high school with average high school kid problems but i don’t watch marvel movies because i want to watch the big budget action-y version of some disney channel coming of age bullshit. oh no, how will peter balance being a superhero with being on the high school academic decathlon team? how will he keep his double life secret from the other students and keep the bullies off his tail? will he find a date to the homecoming dance? (side note, what the fuck high school in new york city has a homecoming dance of that ridiculous magnitude?)
also i hated his best friend, i think his name is ned. he’s the cookie-cutter “amazed by his new superhero friend” stock character who never just gets over it and is helpful; no, every time he lends a hand, it’s rife through with layers and layers of “holy shit this is awesome! your life is awesome! by proxy my life is awesome! look at how awesome!” and asking all kinds of dumb questions and saying all kinds of dumb things in public that anyone with the least bit of situational awareness would overhear and use to immediately deduce that peter is spider-man. oh, and peter’s running commentary during his web-slinging adventures is stupid. it’s just stupid.
anyway, glad i’ve seen it so now i can say i’ve seen it, i guess, but what a fucking waste of time.
wonder woman, on the other hand, was awesome.