alright that’s it, she’s whining that it seems like all the comments she’s been receiving recently have been negative and i’m just like…bitch please, you get probably 95% sycophantic ego-stroking fuckery compared to 2% callouts and 3% people legit trying to help you but you can’t accept any form of critique so you perceive it as an attack on your fragile little self.
she’s not even entertaining anymore from a sadistic perspective, and her writing is exactly as shitty as it was two years ago; i’m gonna unfollow her, i think it’s time. past time. overdue.
so everyone’s favorite thinnest-skinned sherlock fic writer wanted to play “true or false” last night, for…some ungodly reason. and this was the first comment, which i thought was pretty fun:
yes. i mean this is far from the only issue i have with her shitty writing, but not only is it true, it’s one of the standard stages all amateur writers need to go through before becoming, you know, not shitty.
ETA: WHOA i just noticed that one of her tags on that post is “i didn’t ask for your opinion on my writing” and like, are you fucking with me? the original post, copy-pasted, reads: “Let’s play True or False. Leave me a message in my ask, and I’ll answer it with a true or false.” that is non-specific, meaning people can ask about anything. you market yourself as a sherlock fic writer, you promote your fics all the time, you constantly seek validation from your readers, apologizing for delaying updates (transparent plea for attention) and bringing up new ideas (over “concerns” that they’ll take time away from “the main fic” and people won’t want to wait), and most of the responses to that stupid game were people gushing over your writing. if you’re going to beg for the good, you have to be prepared for the bad, honey, not everyone’s gonna like you and your product.
and then, the last comment of the night…
ngl this made me laugh. in like a schadenfreude kind of way, obviously, but still.
you know the thing is, i’ve tried to give her, like, nice suggestions to improve her writing, but she receives any form of criticism as an attack and places herself far above it, so why not go full force? i mean i didn’t write it, i said that she drinks when she’s alone rather than as a social event (and she agreed because i assume she’s too stupid to understand that i was accusing her of being a casual alcoholic), but it really did make me laugh because thank god i’m not the only person who thinks she sucks.
ETA: the thrilling conclusion!
Thank you all for the beautiful supportive messages after those rude anons stopped into my inbox 💜💜 I’ll try to respond to everyone but I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night. I shouldn’t engage with negative people like that, it helps nothing and I don’t want anyone to have to see crap like that on their dashes. So I’m sorry 💜 and to make up for it, I’m posting a photo of my tiny Seb sleeping with his tongue out 🙈 I hope this makes up for things and I apologize if I made anyone upset last night 💜💜 XO
alright, yeah, i admit the last one was pretty rude, but the first one wasn’t so much rude as, like…tactless. indelicate. blunt, but definitely true. and seriously what was wrong with her behavior? she stuck up for herself. i mean they were right, but she defended herself anyway, which is fair enough. i guess she could’ve ignored them, that would’ve been the classy thing to do.
who needs another picture of her fucking dog, though, that’s not a gift. that is a dash clog, more than those anons from last night.
so mssmithlove1 asked for prompts, again, i don’t think because she has any intention of actually writing any of them but because she just wants to trade them with other teenlock fans? anyway i sent in a direct ripoff of “Little Girl in the Big Ten” (oh no! report cards are sent home and genius sherlock is failing phys ed! but coach won’t fail him if he…joins a school team, i admit i didn’t want to default to that fucking “sherlock sucks at gym but john is enraptured by his beautiful ballet skills” trope) and her response isn’t to comment on the scenario itself (which is actually pretty thoroughly laid out) but that athlete!john and ballet/nerd!sherlock is her favorite teenlock trope. and like…that’s nice? but it’s also the only one that’s consistent with bbc canon. we know john played rugby and we know sherlock was mocked for his intelligence, so, you know. it’s basically the most unoriginal fanon-that’s-actually-canon you could come up with.
and seriously i lifted it right out of The Simpsons. not only that, seven other dorks decided to enable her by “Liking” it, and two of them reblogged it as well (sans tags, oh well), so, good times. go me.
so after the absolute shitshow that was grandma’s birthday “celebration” a few days ago, when i brushed off stuart’s friend denise, i got to thinking (i think again? this can’t be the first time i’ve had this impression) about family. specifically familial obligations, even more specifically the seeming obligation that people have to love their family members.
i don’t like stuart. as far as i know, i’ve never liked stuart. i definitely have never liked sussie, but she’s family by marriage so i don’t think that counts as much. anyway i don’t like stuart, and he doesn’t really seem to like me either, or if he does, he has a weird way of showing it. i mean, he’s quiet, he’s awkward, he stutters like he needs speech therapy, he’s obstinate and close-minded, and i do not like him. also he smells weird, which is just off-putting. he was all chatty with denise, though, when they were reminiscing about high school or talking about their common friends or whatever they were doing (i wasn’t paying attention), so i have to imagine that he’s got, like, a friendly version of his awful personality, but i don’t know if it’s only turned on by nostalgia or what, because if that’s the case, i definitely don’t have access.
on a related note, i don’t like denise, either. i mean yeah i just met her for the first time a couple days ago, but i immediately didn’t like her; call it the bad aura effect or something like that, she put me off real hard. she’s loud and chatty and smiley and pretty much the exact opposite of everyone i get along with.
this circles back to the notion of familial obligation. i didn’t want to go to this stupid “party,” i never like socializing with stuart, i had no particular inclination to meet his friend (who actually i didn’t know was going to be there, come to think of it), but i was forced to do all these things because my mother is my mother and stuart is my uncle and grandma is my grandma and denise is stuart’s friend from high school. i was forced into this event in which i was profoundly unhappy and expected to keep up this veneer of being somehow not profoundly unhappy because they’re family and i’m supposed to love them. and the result of that love is i think supposed to be a desire to make them happy? or like, be nice to them?
i didn’t sign up for this shit. mom and i make friends with very different kinds of people; pretty much everyone from luzerne is a fucking psycho, and i can’t stand laura, who actually reminds me (now that i think of it) a lot of stuart. i wonder if that’s why she and mom get on so well.
anyway after two days of this awkwardness of mom being in a bad mood for reasons unspecified (although i strongly suspected it was because of this), she comes into my room and says she’ll be derelict in her duties as a mother and doing us both a disservice (or something, i was already kind of zoning) if we don’t talk about how super rude i was. then she rambles on and on for seriously about five minutes with some recounting of the incident, and fyi, i do remember it, and “not if i can help it” is not a one word answer, so, fuck you. i also remember what i was thinking at the time, which was basically, “i don’t want to be involved in this conversation that seems to be carrying on just fine without me and why are you trying to bring me into it when i’m so clearly doing something else,” but that’s kind of indefensible to someone who’s already decided i was very very rude, so i went with the good old “i remember the event but i don’t remember what my motivation was so that’s gonna get you nowhere.” some grade-a “regret,” i’ll-try-harder-in-the-future, and all i have to do now is hope she gets the fuck over it sooner rather than later because this is getting really boring to live with.
and, you know what, i try to talk to stuart. i ask him questions about things which don’t remotely interest me because i’m trying to engage him in conversation. i ask him about himself. he doesn’t reciprocate. he doesn’t have emotions, he has like, awkward laughter and awkward atonal speech that he alternates between. and, what the fuck is this “you don’t ask people about themselves” bullshit, i definitely do ask people about themselves. i can converse with other human beings in a seeming-to-have-interest-in-them sort of way even though i absolutely don’t, and it’s tiring, okay? it’s hard and it makes me tired and it makes me unhappy and i don’t like to do it, but i do, because that’s how you be social. i wonder if she ever talks to stuart about how he doesn’t converse with me? i kind of really doubt it! she’s not responsible for shaping his behavior. not that she’s responsible for shaping mine either, but he seems to get a pass somehow, either because he’s her brother or because “that’s just how he is” (worst excuse ever).
so part of the reason this is all culminating in my brain the way it is is that thanks to my sociopathy or asperger’s or whatever the fuck, i actually feel…nothing about any of this. mom said something about not wanting to bring it up because she doesn’t want to make me feel bad when i’m feeling good about something, and i’m like hold the fuck up, what on earth do you think i’m feeling good about right now, i exist in an undulating state of wanting to die, although i think what i said was closer to “don’t worry, i’m not feeling good about anything right now,” which you might think would be something she’d want to follow up on? but no. oh, shit, i wonder if she thinks i’m feeling bad about the way i acted, ’cause that’s…not it.
whatever, so i said i’d try to act better in the future and she’s all worried because she knows i can fake it when i want to but she thinks it’ll negatively impact my future in the jobs market if i can’t do it all the time or something? and like, no, i can do it whenever i want to, it’s just that i don’t usually want to do it around family. because that is an obligation, and all i’m getting out of it is maintaining the status quo and making them feel good, which is frankly not something i’m particularly interested in. you guys made the decision to have a child, okay, and if your child is depressed and sociopathic and has occasional suicidal ideation, well, maybe you fucked up somewhere along the line, huh? derelict in your duties as a mom, indeed.
you know what this is doing is just making me more antisocial. if i can’t let down my guard around family, if i have to keep up the fake act whenever i’m in social situations, all that’s gonna do is make me more inclined to avoid social situations, especially those in which i’m not directly benefiting.
ooooh, unintended consequences…
alright alright, so i just recently started getting into moreid, and while criminal minds is a good enough show, i think this is one of those instances wherein i prefer the fanon to the source material; like, the cases are interesting from a somewhat deranged perspective, and i like all the characters (no, really), but moreid is the only relationship i actually care about.
but, and here’s the rub, criminal minds seems to have a disproportionately high number of reader insertion fic in its cache. ew ew ew. i always think of that as like a direct link to the world of twilight and assorted other shit, but like…seriously what the fuck, these people are sick.